I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
