Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
