I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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