Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
ttyl tear gas
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
