Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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