theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
