we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
