Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
