Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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