I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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