my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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