it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
