my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I could fuck to npr.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
