smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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