I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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