i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
