they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
