Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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