$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
and she was petting her beer can
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
