That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
