I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize