on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
