never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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