She said her name was "party"
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
