we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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