When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
These tits shall not be calmed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
