you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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