New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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