Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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