you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
