I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
