You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize