never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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