just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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