then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
