I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You were trust falling into bushes
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
