on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
