And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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