Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
