i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
