i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I want to fling myself into the sun
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
