Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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