dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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