i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
