Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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