why didn't you poke me back
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I smell like Dick and happiness
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
