his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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