Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
