I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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