you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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