bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
