Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
