She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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