he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
