your room smells of hookers.
And success
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
